Why Compassion Should Be Your First Focus (And How)

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. Dalai Lama

Compassion is not blind love, pity or slavery. Compassion is having a kind understanding and an open mind and acceptance. I love to see compassion as a powerful tool at our disposal. Compassion allows you to step back and mindfully choose our actions, instead of just reacting. It’s the caring awareness with allows us to listen to our bodies, minds and souls, and find out what is truly healthy for us.

Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity. Penna Chodron

Scientist have now proved that compassion has diverse health and psychological benefits. To start with, it makes us happy; not only to you, but to everyone around you. In fact, it’s so intoxicating that it spreads like wildfire. It’s so powerful that can get us out of an emotional deep, make us more productive and even attractive. On top of that, it has an anti-aging effect.

Let us focus on its happiness generation effect. Well, it produces a very specific kind of happiness: eudaimonic happiness. What is that? Well, current research on well-being has two general standpoints: the hedonic approach, which focuses on happiness, defining well-being in terms of pleasure attainment and pain avoidance; and the eudaimonic approach, which focuses on meaning and self-realization and defines well-being in terms of the degree to which a person is fully functioning. The former is the kind of happiness that compassion fosters. I want more of that.

The researcher Brené Brown has great news for us. She says that “compassion is not a virtue. It’s a commitment. It’s not something we have or don’t have. It’s something we choose to practice”. We all have the ability to have compassion. Your decision to practice it will open the doors to innumerable benefits being your true happiness the most meaningful. Remember, you can turn it on or you can turn it off. All the power is within you.

Let’s build our compassion practice

To practice compassion you need to look at its components,

• What you think
• What you say
• What you do

As you modify any of them, the other ones will be influenced. Just start.

Here you have 8 practical ways you can put into practice today to enhance your compassion (and your true happiness)

Self-compassion

You cannot give what you don’t have. Invest time developing compassion for yourself. Design a routine of self-care. Meditate. Embrace a healthy lifestyle. Write a love letter to yourself from a perspective of unconditional acceptance

Enhanced Empathy

Empathy is the first step to showing compassion. When you feel empathizing with someone, got out of your comfort zone and take an inspired action. A word, a prayer or a flower are good action examples.

Cultivate forgiveness

Ask yourself daily: who did I leave out of my heart today? It might even be you. Bring them back into your heart. See that they are doing their absolute best, considering their context and their inner demons. Shower them with love. They are learning

Practice the power of touch

Learn the power of touch. In a world of stress and hurry, a simple touch of your hand can make the difference. Hug yourself and speak to yourself softly. Hug your partner and speak to her/him softly.

Practice random acts of kindness

Especially when no one is watching. Try to do this daily for just a week. You will notice how happy, vital and enthusiastic you will become. All will appear more vibrantly real as you will be opening your eyes wider for more opportunities to bring joy.

Listen to understand, listen to empathize

Train yourself to be in the present moment with the other. Be genuinely curious. Don’t assume you know or understand. Explore. Ask. Listen. Be there.

Be here and now

When you catch yourself fearing the future or suffering the past, come back. Find something to appreciate in the very place and situation where you are, right here and now. The more your do it, the more you’ll be present. The more you do it, you’ll find more opportunities to be compassionate.

Start small

Do it gently. Don’t stop. Be like a lit candle. Remember that compassion is contagious, even if it’s subtle. Often a small light is more powerful than a roaring fire.

Remember, what we bring to life becomes our life.

Inspire us!Let us into your secret. We want to learn!