Have you been hearing your Inner Critic shout at you? Lately mine has gotten out of hand: you are not fast enough, look what everyone is doing, you’re not good enough… The worst thing is that at the same time my Inner Victim is taking all those statements as the only reality.
Yesterday, I couldn’t take it anymore. First I asked my Inner Critic how she would be satisfied. She answered: show me what you have achieved. I started listing what I have done. I started to see that my performance was very much according to plan. While answering this question I realized I have become even more authentic than before.
At that point, my Big Self came to the conversation. She brought a different and more profound perspective. She told me to look into the future, to remember the dream, to get inspired… When I see the picture of the future and I contrast it with my Now, I see that I am very much on track and that those words of my Inner Critic are nothing else but fear.
I remember that fear is the voice of our Inner Critic. Our Inner Critic loves us and want us to be safe. She doesn’t want change. She doesn’t want you to step up to a higher level. She wants it nice and cozy in the comfort zone. Leaving our comfort zone is threatening to our Inner Critic.
See your Inner Critic as a yelling child. Listen to her. Hug her, let her cry. Ask her what you can learn from this. Quiet your thoughts and listen. Your Inner Critic will tell you what the specific fear is that afflicts her. Take her fears seriously. Listen to her. Let her elaborate on the worst case scenario. Even the worst worst worst case scenario will always have a solution. Once your Inner Critic has been heard, she will be soothed and you will be able to take inspired action on what she told you.
One of my deepest fears was the death of my partner. It was not conscious. It became apparent one evening when he was late to arrive home. My fear started shouting “what if he had a car accident!” I listened to my fear, took her seriously, imagined him being dead, imagined the day after the funeral, the week after, the year after… It would be tremendously painful. I would certainly cry, be very sad, but at some point I would learn to laugh again. After seeing that scenario, I came back to the reality: I have a wonderful partner today, I will enjoy this relationship as much as possible. I will honor my fear.
How does this translate into your calling? Into your business challenge? Well, the answer is simple: listen to your Inner Critic, she will tell you.
When I started this business; one of my fears was to publish my newsletter. It showed up as “you don’t have anything to say”, “who cares”, “who do you think you are”, etc. etc. I was very afraid of a hate reaction or even worse, being completely ignored. I listened to my fear, took her seriously, developed the worst case scenario: to receive a hate e-mail. It felt quite horrible, but it didn’t kill me. My fear of being seen got soothed. Months later I did actually receive a hate e-mail. I loved it! It was such a wonderful feeling to see that the actualization of my worst case scenario didn’t kill me either.
Those fears are nothing else but the pain that a butterfly undergoes before leaving the cocoon. Those fears tell us that we are on the brink of a breakthrough. Listening to them is transformational. Listening to your fear will give you so much energy: You’ll be amazed!
Don’t deny your fear. Listen to her. Soothe her pain. As you listen she’ll transform into the fuel that energize you to keep going.
Remember your vision. Remember you deserve your mission and carry on.