The 8 Saboteurs Of Mighty Things: # 6 Self Belief
You are meant to have an optimal life, one that's happy, successful, abundant and of great contribution. My mission is to help you achieve that.
The great Henry Ford said: Whether you think you can, or think you can’t. You are right. Sadly the belief that we cannot is more widespread than the empowering one.
We are born with infinite enthusiasm. We don’t stop until we are able to sit down. We keep persisting until we are able to stand up. Our self-belief is not in question while we struggle to walk. Little by little in the process of socialization, we stop being almighty. We start seeing at school that he can run faster, that she can sing more beautiful. Comparison is followed by exams. Exams put in the center of our attention all our faults. Our fascination for learning is killed by the imposed focus on our “wrong” answers. Little by little we start to make our own all the labels that society gives us: good girl, slow, naughty, intelligent, ugly, funny…
Without our awareness we have formed a very distorted vision of who we are and of who we could become. Those labels define us. They own us. We become prisoners of them.
These labels without fail become the “I’m not good enough syndrome”. This is known as the impostor syndrome (IS). This syndrome has become a very pervasive illness. Some studies estimate that 70% of individuals have experienced.
People with IS are unable to acknowledge their accomplishments and have a persistent fear of being exposed as a "fraud". Despite external evidence of their competence, they remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more competent than they believe themselves to be. Early research found prevalence among high-achieving women, however it has been found to affect both men and women, in roughly equal numbers.
This is so prevalent because of the way our brain is wired. Our brain will cling to negative feedback like Velcro. It will remember the childhood mistakes, the criticisms of the teachers and classmates, the shouts of mother. However, our brain is just like Teflon for all compliments and happy memories. We forget all our great academic and athletic performance, we forget the love of our mothers. We forget our brilliance. We explain as luck our brilliant results.
Our brain has evolved that way as this is how we have been able to remember that a predator will eat us, that fire will burn us, etc. Our brain needs very little clues to remember danger. To keep us alive was and is critical. To be happy, to thrive, to grow is not critical and sometimes could be added to the dangerous list. Think about it, why are we afraid of public speaking? It’s actually the number one fear, above dying.
Do you suffer of IS?
Do you disregard your results as luck? Do you apologize more than is actually needed? Does a sense of inferiority stop you from attempting your most desired dreams? Does your desire to be nice/good/pleasing leads you away from your own bold projects?
It’s time to start changing those labels. It’s time to change the way you see yourself. It’s time to believe in your brilliance. It’s time to remember what your child you knew very well: You are magnificent.
Here you have my top 3 methods to boost your self-belief fast.
1. Acknowledge yourself every day
Every evening before you go to bed remember on writing at least 8 accomplishments. Write them. Appreciate them. Think what was difficult in executing them. Think how you were able to conquer each one of them. Acknowledge the little thing and the big things: you dare to speak your truth in that challenging meeting, you were able to be fully present playing with your child, you drank 7 glasses of water, etc. Significant attention deserves self-care. Having a nap, going to bed early, having a long bath should also be considered accomplishments. Having time to recover and appreciate yourself is critical for great performance. That should also be acknowledged.
This written record of your successes will feed your self-belief. This will give you more and more reasons why you can.
2. Use your body as a power building tool
Sitting behind the computer and the mobile phone reduce your sense of self-belief. Yes! Every single second you spend hunching you are not only damaging your bone structure, you are not allowing your body to build massive amount of power and self-confidence.
Recent scientific research reveals that effective leaders share similar hormone levels. They tend to have higher levels of testosterone and lower levels of cortisol. Higher levels of testosterone (in both men and women) lead to increased confidence. Lower levels of cortisol lead to decreased anxiety, and an better ability to deal with stress. When you enjoy these hormone levels, you feel more confident and less stressed.
How can you join this club of self-confident people? The ticket if free! To develop this hormonal balance you need to stock hunching. You need to start standing and sitting straight. Imagine there is a cord connected at the top of your head. This cord pulls you up towards the sky. It’s a soft force that comfortably elongates your entire body. Practice standing straight and welcome massive self-confidence.
3. Try new words
Words are powerful. What we say becomes. What we say we become. Getting in control of what you say will boost your self-belief. Remember you are the master of your words. You are in control of what you say.
Imaging making these new choices in your discourse,
I’m not good at this
I give up
I’ll never be that smart
I’m a fraud
I can learn
I’ll use a different strategy
I’ll learn how to do it
Have you notice that the people who talk about illness have it? That the people who talk about injustice suffer it? That the people who talk about joy and success, enjoy it?
Instead of giving yourself reasons why you cannot. Give yourself reasons why you can. If you want a community and a structure method to remember how brilliant you are, I have something for you: the “A Better ME Program”. This is a three month transformational experience that will allow you to rewire your brain while you achieve a mighty project. You will learn and implement great habits that will not only generate great results, but also massive self-belief. Inspired? Check it out here.
Do you want to do something magnificent with your one and precious life?
Now, I would love to hear from you.
I would love to hear your wisdom.
How do you manage to believe in yourself when things get difficult?
Please, share your wisdom directly in the comments below. Let's start a wave of vibrancy, excitement, enthusiasm for life. Let's live fully!
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