November 28

Why feelings aren’t what you think they are

Which feeling are you experiencing? Do you feel sadness? Maybe anger? Perhaps helplessness?

There are many reasons why you may feel that way. Global events are a powerful source of sadness, anger, and helplessness. We also have our own personal reasons: losing a job, falling ill, getting divorced, or just simply feeling tired.

These reasons have become our reality and even our identity. We just see the horror stories they show in the newscast and in our lives. We believe that is the way it is.

This happens because our minds are deleting machines. When we focus on one part of reality, that reality becomes all that there is. Our brilliant mind is a strong gatekeeper to our conscious mind: the Reticular Activation System (RAS). The RAS acts as a reality filtering glass. It prevents anything out of our focus to get it into our consciousness.

Do this experiment with me. Look around and find all that is green. Look for green. Look for green. Look for green. How many black things did you find? Your RAS easily deleted all the black.

Now, let’s go back to feelings

Let’s say you are angry about violence in the world. Unbeknownst to you, your reality filtering glasses are allowing in all that confirms to that violence. Kindness, compassion, and service are invisible to you. They literally don’t exist in your mind.

Now that you know a bit more about the power of your mind, you can start using it to your advantage. Let’s change those glasses. The new focus you need is gratitude. Let’s make gratitude the new focus of your RAS.

The gratitude filter immediately frees you from anger, sadness, or helplessness. It’s impossible to feel angry, sad, or helpless when you are feeling grateful. Gratitude makes you see the wonders of life. It opens the doors of possibility.

powerful feelings

Remember the wonderful words of Frida Kahlo: “Feet, what do I need them for if I have wings to fly?” She wrote that in her journal after her feet were amputated. She focused on her work, on what was possible, on life.

Make a list of all things that work. List all that is wonderful. Feel deep gratitude for all your blessings. Be grateful for your beautiful body: your powerful heart, your intelligent mind, and your courageous gut. Feel in your heart the love you feel for each one of the wonderful people in your life, dead and alive. Feel that love. Feel that warmth.

Consciously limit your access to negative feeling feeders: news, toxic people, violence, etc. Go on a news fast. Limit your access to news for a day. Switch off your television. Enjoy the sunset. Observe the magic of your hands. Frolic in the beauty of nature. Observe what happens with your mood and your gratitude.

Gratitude is not just a “nice to have” 

It has serious scientifically proven benefits. Gratitude:

  • improves physical health    
  • opens the door to more relationships
  • improves psychological health    
  • enhances empathy and reduces aggression    
  • improves the quality of sleep
  • betters self-esteem
  • increases mental strength

Can you imagine how your life would improve with better relationships, good health, and mental strength? Your productivity, vitality, and joy will go through the roof.

Make gratitude a daily habit. Every morning before you start your day, remember all that you are or could be grateful for. As you make it a daily practice, the feelings that drag you down will vanish and serendipity will work in your favor.

Make gratitude a daily habit.

I hope the gratitude bug just bite you. To trigger all those great benefits of gratitude, take one more step: share it. Type in the comments below:

what makes you feel so grateful right now? 

Inspire us! Inspire yourself!

​Thank you very much for reading, sharing and commenting.

To your brilliance,


#playrealbig #feelings #women #relationship

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