These days I’ve been blessed with a constant growth in my business. 100% of my customers are perfect. All of them have the pain that I am meant to heal and the courage to run the extra mile to go beyond it.
Yes, there’s a “but”.
There was something off. Something was feeling not that right. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Until yesterday!
Yesterday I realized that insecurity and fear are visiting me. Old protecting voices are shouting at me:
– Who do you think you are? (Yes, I was bullied at school)
– Shut up, you don’t understand what you’re talking about (You see, I was the youngest at home)
– You’re not allowed to speak (another voice of my childhood)
Insecurity and fear are the voices of the Ego. They are the voices of our little self. This is the one who craves security, holds the status quo and makes sure you’ll survive. These voices are not necessarily “bad” (well, what is bad? And what is good?). These voices are always born during our childhood and during moments of shock or pain. The moments that generate these voices also generate wounds in us.
I like to see these voices as characters in our own personal story. This time my inner wounded child was the one who wanted my attention. It’s possible that you hear other voices (other characters). Some of them are,
– The inner critic: “you are not good enough”
– The risk manager: “if you do this (quit your job, change target market, launch a new product…), how are you going to pay the mortgage?
– The image consultant: “Your website is awful”
So, Blanca, what is your solution to deal with these challenging characters?
Having a conversation! Yes, as simple as that. Don’t try to ignore these voices, they will shout louder and louder. Even worse, they might sabotage your plans when you dare to do (or even attempt to do) what they fear.
Before you have a conversation with them, you need to change your perception of them. They are not here to hurt you. They don’t hate you. On the contrary, they love you! They love you so much that they want to protect you from being wounded again. These inner voices are your protectors.
When I was a child I was criticized for speaking. Now my protectors want to save me from the pain of the criticism. By listening to the concern of your inner voices, you will be able to comfort them and go beyond their wounds, while respecting their safety.
You can have a conversation with them just in your mind. You can have a conversation with them during your meditation or your dreams. You can also have a conversation with them by using two chairs. Your protector (you, pretending to be your protector) sits on one chair and you sit on the other one. All these methods work.
My favorite method to have this conversation is the old-fashioned pen and paper. Write like Shakespeare. Write a play, where your protector is one character and you are the other one. Follow the normal way of communicating with someone you don’t really know. Introduce yourself. Listen to how the other introduces himself. Ask questions with curiosity and respect. Close the conversation with an agreement and gratitude.
The more conversations you have with your voices, the easier, faster and uplifting they will become.
Maybe you’re curious how my conversation with my inner child ended. Well, the agreement we made was that I (the adult one) shall give her back her voice. She was so reassured. I was so empowered. I can give my inner child her voice back. I can help my customers to find theirs as well.
Go for it! Give it a try! Have a conversation with your inner voices. They love you, they adore you! Once you have a good relationship with them fear will no longer be an issue.
Can you imagine your business impact when fear is your friend? Go for it! Have this conversation!