December 11

Unclog the Flow – Release Toxic People

Are toxic people clogging your flow? Do you feel the need to ​prove yourself? Is it a struggle to get anything you want? You need to unclog the flow of energy, creativity and all you want. 

This past weeks several customers have shares with me different examples of clogged flow.

  • One, we’ll call her Ana, was haunted by the unhealthy desire to be with a bad lover. You know, the ones that open the door of the car to you, invite you to expensive “romantic” dinner, make love to you and at the end they say they are not ready for any kind of commitment. 
  • The other customer, aka Laura, was tormented by the memories and fears related to a group of ex-colleagues who made her life miserable at work, so much so that she decided to quit. She didn’t want to think about them, but something in her was attached to these events/people.
  • A third one, we'll call her Sandy, was carrying all kinds of injustices. She was suffering because the unfairness of how her father ​treated her as a child, and how her mother didn't do anything to protect her. Injustice was visible all around her life: unprofessional customers, uncaring husband and more. 
  • ​A forth one, here called Berenice, is suffering ​years ​of ill treatment of a supplier. They are disrespectful in all kinds of senses: don't honor agreements, don't respect her time and expertise, spread rumors about her and more. ​ 

Superficially you might say that they are not comparable these cases.  ​What is so similar about them is their attachment to these pains and the acute awareness of the lack of what they desire. 

Do you share similar pains?

Are there persons or organizations in your life who,

  •  Try to control you
  •  Disregard your boundaries
  •  Take without giving
  •  ​Are always right
  •  Lie
  •  Are​ professional manipulative victims
  •  Don’t take responsibility

Even if you know they are not good for you, you keep them in your system. Eeven if they are not physically in your life, they are still in your mind and heart. Even if they have died or live kilometers away from you, their words are still hurting you. ​A cocktail of anger, helplessness and despair seems to control you. You are suffering.

The root of all suffering is attachment


To stop their suffering they need to burn that attachment. To continue attached to people like these prevents your growth and expansion. You need to take decisive action to open the door of your life towards greater possibilities in your life.

Today I’ll share with you a ritual to tap into your unconscious mind and let go of any attachment you might have.

This is a burning ritual. You can use it once for the purpose of letting go of this toxic person, but you can also make it a practice. You’ll be surprised at the possibilities that it inspires and unfolds. It clears your energy to welcome wonderful things into your life.

I’ve used this simple ritual to let go of attachment of a terribly bad lover,  my emotions related to my aging toxic mother and even of the attachment of my desire to be loved by my then husband to be. I’ve also used it to manifest many things in my life, including my children,  successful navigation of difficult conversations, … the list goes on and on. So, you can be as specific (or not) as you want to be.

When should you do this ritual?

There is no wrong time to do this ritual. But new moons and full moons are excellent times when it seems to be more potent to work with intentions, and releases. I did this new moon burning ritual to specifically call in the feelings and circumstances I want to experience more of during this upcoming moon cycle. Also you can do this at the end of any cycle: end of the year, after leaving a job, ending a relationship, etc. 

What do you need?

Your supply list to create a similar burning ritual is:

  • Paper
  • Pencil or Pen
  • Lighter or other source of flame
  • Burning-friendly surface: Large metal/glass bowl, a pan, a fireplace, dirt or stone clearing, etc.
  • Any sacred object that you feel will support you in your work

Step 1: Set your sacred space

Working outside is a great choice. Create an altar in your backyard. Bring various candles, stones, feathers… whatever calls to be part of the experience. There are no wrong answers here. Don’t worry, no black magic happens here. But, since we’re burning paper and ink you need to be careful. Also ensure you have good ventilation.

Step 2: Intention setting and grounding

This is the most important component of the ritual. You must be grounded and clear in your intent. If you’re stressed, tired or angry, take a meditative walk, breathe and come back when ready… Ready? Great!

To ground yourself, sit on the floor or firmly plant your feet on the ground. Take a few deep breaths, envisioning pulling life energy up from the ground with every inhale, and shooting roots through the soles of your feet and sacrum with every exhale.

Once you feel grounded and focused, it’s time to write your intentions. I always start with the feelings, people or circumstances that no longer serve me. I title this list “I Release” and put bullet points below. If a letter to the universe feels more you, then write out your list in prose (or poem!). I’ve done all variations and encourage you to do so, too! Just be sure to be honest, open and sincere with what you’re releasing.

Step 3: Ask

On the same piece of paper (or a different one, no wrong way to do this), I list everything I want to ask. This is usually titled “I ask” These are feelings and circumstances I welcome and want more of.

Step 4: Burning and Release

Once I’ve listed everything I want to release and everything I want to ask, it’s time to burn both lists. I start by burning the list of no-longer-welcomes. As I ignite the list or letter, I say something like this:

Dear Universe:

​​I no longer need the lessons that these feelings, things, or circumstances would teach me. If I haven’t already, I vow to learn these lessons in a different way that feels better and opens my heart.

​Then, I burn the list of everything I desire to have and feel. As I light this list, I say something like…

Dear Universe:

​​​I invite these emotions and circumstances into my life at this time to serve my highest and best good. I intend that these things will fuel me to be of better service, to be more present, and to keep open my heart.

​I then take a few deep breaths and rub my hands together: effectively washing myself of attachment to anything I just released, both desired and undesired.

The key to this burning ritual is release.

You must be willing to let go of all attachment to both the bad AND the good. When you let go of expectations, then the universe is free to provide for you creatively.

Bonus Step: Washing it all out

​You could stop with the previous step, but if you want there's one more step you can take. Wash it all out. Take those ashes and put them under your shower. Take a shower and see how all the resentment, all the desire for more is fading. Feel how all those attachments are going away with the water and how you are becoming clean and ready for wonderful things to come your way. Feel how you are becoming flow personified. 

Back to ​you​!

Let your voice be heard​

I hope you enjoyed this blog and most importantly that it helps you flow again by releasing all that toxicity.

​I would love to hear from you! 

  • ​Do you have another method to release toxic people?
  • What unfolded after you followed this ritual?

Please feel free to answer any of these two questions in the comments below. Don't be shy! Remember that your voice might the blessing someone is praying for.

Thank you for reading and sharing! I really appreciate your support.

​To your Brilliance,



#dragons, #heroinesjourney, #herosjourney, #howto, #intelligentwomen, spirituality, transcendence, women

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