Start listening, wondering will decrease, centeredness will arrive.
Years ago I wanted to write a book. I had the whole layout already planned. I had the title of all the chapters and the entire concept ready to go. I showed the plan to a trusted friend of mine. She kindly recommended me to consider reading several books before even attempting to go ahead. Her good intentions were a show stopper for me. I felt my plan was no good enough and moreover, I felt I was not good enough. Five years and many books later, I finally wrote my own book. Interestingly enough the original idea was still there. It was exactly the same and still very valid. I needed to experience those five years to learn that what I have to say is not trivial and it is in fact needed, for the persons who I am meant to serve.
During those five years I was wondering. It really felt like wondering in the woods, far away from my path. I tried all kinds of methods to prepare for writing my first book. I read tons of literature. I attended courses. I tried to get in as much information as possible. I inundated myself in information, ideas, “help”… However no one single page came out of it. At the same time all kind of negative feelings did come out. I felt frustrated, impatient, sad… I was completely out of my center, out of my heart, out of my path.
The crucial moment that got me out of the woods was a good day when a friend of mine arrived at my place with a very big box. She told me: “Blanca, it is time for you to listen to yourself”. She went around my place and packed all “helping” books. She packed all other people’s advice and ideas. She took the box away and gave me a brand new journal. At first I was shocked! How would I survive without the words of others, without the support of others, without the wisdom of others!
The revolution started. I stopped reading. I stopped going to art galleries and museums. I stopped going out for dinner. I started writing. I started painting. I learned many recipes and invented new ones. A creativity explosion started. At the beginning I didn’t know what I was writing. I was writing to write, without any meaning, without any intention, just writing. I was creating all kind of wonders left, right and center. My enthusiasm and “joie de vivre” grew exponentially!
I collected so much written material! Gosh! There was so much material and also so many projects. The fountain seemed infinite. However, I still did not show my material to anyone. I was afraid of new saboteurs or critics. I didn’t dare to show it to anyone. This was the next challenge in my path. I met this challenge when I sent my first newsletter. From there I was certainly on my path, on my own very path. From there it was easy to put together the first book and to start working on the next one. From there it was “easy” to welcome criticism. In fact, the first critical letter I received made me so happy. It showed me that these five years have thought me how to listen to critical comments with a pinch of salt and keep centered.
When you are wondering in the woods, you are not lost. You are acquiring skills and life experience that will ease your way towards fulfilling your true mission. You are acquiring clarity about what your mission is and even how to make it concrete. Wonder! Close those books, switch off (preferably get rid off) that television, switch off the radio… Listen! Listen to the birds, listen to the wind, listen to your heart, and listen to your own wisdom. You have access to infinite intelligence, to infinite wisdom. You just need to listen. Listen and your wisdom will take you to your path. Don’t worry; be gentle to yourself, your path will wait for you until you are ready.